


"I Thought We Were In This Together?"

by lyssajanet



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship, Gen, Platonic Relationships, also dark brotherhood for good guys, its the dark brotherhood guys theres gonna be mentions of murder, mentions of past violence, quick mention of legacy of the dragonborn mod
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 05:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16825717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyssajanet/pseuds/lyssajanet
Summary: Velanna finds out that Kashia's been in the Dark Brotherhood for months and has been keeping it a secret from her after she catches Kashia killing Gaius Maro. Their fight goes worse than expected.





	1. The Fight

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't want to post this Whole Ass Thing on tumblr plus it's technically fanfic even if it's about two OCs and the only canon character gets killed 1 second in. Note that I play with Dark Brotherhood for Good Guys mod and write with it in mind as well. also barely proofread so have fun

“You… you just killed that man.”

Shit. Kashia pulled her hand out of the pocket and sword out of the back of Gaius Maro and turned her head around to confirm her worst suspicions. Of course waiting until the last minute the kill Maro would result in the absolute last person Kashia ever wanted catching her committing an assassination. Guards, the Redguard could handle, even some civilian could be quieted with a little gold or a lot of force to the back of the head. But no, it had to be Velanna.

The Altmer’s eyes were wide and her body frozen except for the slowly accelerating hyperventilation of her chest. Kashia knew she only had a few more seconds to get Velanna out of eyesight from potential other witnesses and only a few minutes to save this relationship. She hilted her sword and tried to hide her cringe when Velanna flinched from her approach. Grabbing her shoulders anyway and walking her friend further behind one of the many stone pillars of Markarth, Kashia tried to think of some explanation for months of hiding her association with the Dark Brotherhood.

Kashia only joined them after getting bored one night in Windhelm waiting for Velanna to finish up some solo work and deciding to investigate the Aretino House. Then it was killing Grelod while Velanna met up with her fellow Nightingales, and returning to the Aretino House while Velanna and the Nightingales killed Frey. Getting kidnapped by the Dark Brotherhood while waiting for Velanna wasn’t a part of the plan, but killing was something Kashia was good at. She had been a mercenary for years and hasn’t flinched at the sight of a dead body since she was in her teens. It was an easy way to get money on the side while also killing some of Skyrim’s worst. Rapists, serial killers, pedophiles, Thalmor agents, you name it. Kashia took contracts on her own terms and made sure she wasn’t personally killing innocents (even if her colleagues might have been).

But sneaking out every night they spent in Falkreath to meet with her dark siblings, lying to Velanna to help take out particular kills, waiting until Velanna fell asleep before creeping out to kill some innocent in their own home and then coming back into the tavern before she was missed? Kashia knew what she was doing was wrong. Somewhat at least. At least wrong to Velanna. If it wasn’t the murdering, then it was the lying. Kashia had just barely managed to smooth over the whole werewolf and Harbinger thing. This might be a bit trickier.

The Silverblood Inn was a much safer place to talk than behind some buildings, Kashia decided. Gentling pushing Velanna to sit down on her stone bed in the inn (‘By the nine, why would anyone want to live in a town with stone beds? Why haven’t the people of Markarth figured out pillows and blankets yet?’), Kashia squatted down to place her hands on her friend’s shoulders. She could already feel the anxiety building in her friend as her breathing started to get out of control. “Velanna, I need to you calm down-” Already Kashia was regretting her words.

“Calm down?” Velanna interrupted, taking several quick breaths before continuing, “How can I calm down when I just watched my best friend  _ kill _ someone?”

“You watch me kill people nearly daily, Velanna. You kill people every day.” Logic. Calm and simple logic, maybe that would help.

“Bandits, Kash. That’s different.  _ He _ wasn’t trying to kill us!” Shit, she must have seen more than Kashia thought.

Divines bless those stone walls though, otherwise Kashia would be feeling a lot more worried about others hearing this argument.

“I just…”

“ _ Why _ ?”

“What?”

“Why did you kill him?” The desperate plea on her voice and in her eyes tugged at Kashia’s heart. As much as she wanted to make up some story about how Maro attacked first or that he deserved it, clearly Velanna had seen too much. It had been months of keeping this from Velanna. Could she really keep up this lie much longer? No, it was time come clean. Even if it meant everything about their relationship could change.

Sighing, Kashia stood up and moved to sit in an actual chair. “Because…” She paused, pushing back her Mohawk hair to bring forth the strength to admit the truth. Locking her eyes to the floor in shame, she started again, “Because I’m an assassin with the Dark Brotherhood.”

The silence crept its way into the room, building in intensity and concentration with every passing moment, unable to be ignored. She didn’t really know what she was hoping for. Relief? Anger? Something, anything. But no, only silence. Every moment without a vocal reaction clawed at Kashia’s gut, filling her mind with a thousand different scenarios for what Velanna would say or do. Kashia tried to hold back the quickening of her own breath so she would be able to hear Velanna when she did speak.

It felt like days, sitting there, waiting for the Dragonborn to respond. Kashia tried to hold it back, but the words came out. “Please say something,” she pled.

More silence, but not nearly as long. “…how long?”

That wasn’t the response she expected. “What?” Kashia’s eyes finally left the floor. She saw that Velanna had bent over with her head in her hands.

“How long have you been a… an assassin?” Velanna finally looked up with pain in her eyes. Betrayal.

Cringing, Kashia answered, “Since Irkngthand, with Frey.”

Velanna looked away, her face scrunching up and fists tightening. Her lips appeared to purse, only coming apart after several seconds to release one quiet, yet powerful and emotional, “Fuck.”

Kashia had been doing very well with lying to herself that Velanna was this sweet and innocent elf who didn’t even know that word, but now she had not only heard her friend say it, she was the cause. If there wasn’t already a spike in her heart, then that one word sent one.

A sigh. “How did you even manage to keep this a secret all this time? I knew about the Companions, but this? This is different.”

“It wasn’t easy.”

“How many people have you killed?”

“A few.”

“Who?”

Kashia braced herself. “Remember that bandit in Raldbthar?”

“There were several bandits in there… Are you telling me one of them was a hit?” Horror started to dawn on her face.

“…yes,” Kashia groaned out, as if in physical pain. “The one with the big warhammer, Alain Dufont.”

Velanna stood up and gasped. “You made me an accomplice?! I helped kill someone for the Dark Brotherhood?!”

Panic setting in again, Kashia tried to get Velanna to sit down again. “Velanna? Velanna, he was bandit trash! He didn’t deserve to live. You know that he fucked over those Shatter-Shields and Muiri? Stealing Aegisbane? We did a good thing killing him.”

Kashia looked Velanna in the face trying to get her to come back, but Velanna just stared right through her, eyes a thousand yards away. Well over a minute passed with Kashia desperately trying to get her friend to come back to the moment.

Voice hollow, she spoke. “How many more?” It wasn’t spoken as a question.

“The mage in Mzinchaleft, the shipwreck hunter Argonian in the Sea of Ghosts, those vampires at the mill…”

Another whispered “Fuck.”

“…and a few here and there that I didn’t involve you in.” There, the worst of it said. Well, almost. She really didn’t want to add on Vici when clearly Velanna was already having a breakdown.

“Kashia, I-”

“It’s not as bad as you think!” Kashia stood up again, hands up in surrender to keep Velanna calm. “They really weren’t good people Velanna! I have the dossiers back in your Safehouse telling why each person had to die.”

“Kash-”

“Look, I still have the one for Agnis on me now!” Pulling the dossier out of her bag, she opened it and nearly shoved the thing in Velanna’s face. “She was secretly killing any group who came and started using the fort, luring them into a sense of security by acting as the sweet old caretaker who didn’t care who was using the fort! A-and I remember this other one, the Bosmer hunter from Whiterun? A cannibal. The man outside the mill near Windhelm was a murderer on the run. You don’t even wanna know about the beggar in Ivarste-”

“KASH!”

Kashia stopped.

Deep breath in. “It’s not… it’s not just the killing people thing. I’m sure you have a million plus reasons for why they all deserved to die. But it’s one thing to be defending yourself from a sword going through your stomach, and another to go seek out these people and kill them! You purposefully put yourself in danger all the time trying to defend me and I’m just  _ barely _ okay with that because I know that’s who you are and I can’t change that. But this? This is different.

“You told me, you  _ told me _ that when you joined up with me, you were going to do everything in your power to keep me safe, and sure I was a little uncomfortable with that at first, you were a stranger after all, but I accepted that. Now? Now I’ve come to depend on you Kash. I don’t know what I’d do without you, and you just…  _ keep _ … putting yourself in dangerous situations without a care for your safety or even mine! You drag me into killing bandit kingpins and Silver Hand leaders and vampires and power mad mages and I… I’m just trying to survive this  _ fucking _ dragon crisis and maybe go out and find relics here and there!

“When I said you could have your own life, this?” Velanna gestured at nothing. “Isn’t what I meant. You can’t just… come into my life and make me care about and depend on you, and then the second I turn my back, go out and nearly get yourself killed because you couldn’t resist joining some fighter’s guild or group of assassins or swearing yourself to  _ yet another _ daedric prince.

“I tell you everything Kash. I told you about the Isles, my family, the Thalmor, even my crush on Auryen. But you just keep lying to me.”

Kashia didn’t know what to say. Everything that Velanna said was true. She  _ did  _ promise to keep Velanna safe even at the cost of her own life, and then she goes out and leaves Velanna vulnerable or makes her an accomplice and thus endangers her more than absolutely necessary. Kashia routinely drags Velanna into dangerous situations and distracts her from her destiny, just because Kashia wants to have a little fun or gain some power. It’s not only selfish, it’s irresponsible and oath breaking. Not to mention hypocritical, since Kashia was the one who chastised Velanna for joining the Thieves Guild months back.

She knew Velanna that had trust issues that were rightfully earned. Velanna had Thalmor nipping at her tail for months, not knowing who to trust with her old or new identity. Realistically, Kashia was one of the few people that Velanna trusted on Nirn, and probably  _ the _ one she trusted the most. It’s an honor; an honor that Kashia just kept tossing aside.

“I think we need to be apart right now. I’ll go pay for another room.” Velanna stood up and left the room with her backpack in tow. Kashia sat down on the stone bed, still warm, and stared at the floor until exhaustion took her.


	2. The Make-up

Kashia had gotten used to early morning and unrestful sleep even before taking the beast blood. When dawn first broke through the cracks in the stone wall, Kashia was already mostly awake. Figuring that it was pointless to fight for another moment of sleep, she crawled off the stone bed and packed up her things before sitting down at the bar to wait for the innkeepers to awaken. Luckily, at least one of them was up fairly soon after to take Kashia’s breakfast order. Gael was typically the best at making food for the group, but since he was off doing some business with his ‘father’, it was either Kashia made her own food or pay someone else to do so. Slowly but surely, the inn’s residents awoke and started to fill the main area, resulting in Kashia nearly missing Velanna leaving through the front door without even a word.

Very rarely did Velanna leave Kashia without at least telling her where she was going. Something in Kashia’s gut said this didn’t feel right; something was wrong. Shoving the rest of her bread into her mouth and bag, Kashia threw some Septims onto the counter and rushed out the door.

The giant door that separated Markarth from the rest of the Skyrim was just closing when Kashia left the Silverblood Inn. Kashia felt something drop in her stomach, but brushed it aside. No, it’s surely nothing. Opening the door, she looked out to locate Velanna before she got too far away. ‘ _ Ah ha, there she is! Just past the corner. _ ’

Casually jogging to catch up, Kashia made her presence known as to not startle Velanna. Having been on the run from the Thalmor for months, Kashia learned not to sneak up on her friend. “Hey Velanna, you almost left without me, what’s the rush?” Kashia asked lightly, hoping to disguise the real concern she felt.

Velanna kept her face away from Kashia and didn’t slow in her step. “Kashia I… When I said we needed some space, I meant it. I need to be on my own for a while.”

Laughing uncomfortably, Kashia kept walking after Velanna. “Come… come on Vels. It’s just a little fight. We’ve fought before. Apologized and moved on. Why can’t we just do that?”

Velanna abruptly stopped, causing Kashia to almost walk into her. “Because this isn’t just a fight Kashia!” She had turned around, eyes wet with unfallen tears. “This is about you betraying my trust and lying to me! This is about you going behind my back to do things you know I wouldn’t like and then lying to my face about them! I feel like I don’t even know you anymore! Are you even still the Kashia I met in the Dragonsreach dungeon who was trying to get her friend freed, who swore herself to the dragonborn right then and there? Or are you some daedra worshipping assassin who beats up strangers for gold?”

Velanna turned back around and ducked her head down, braid obscuring her face but Kashia knew the tears were falling. “This isn’t something we can just, sleep off and forget about in the morning. I need some time alone to think. Without you.”

‘ _ No no no no no no no no no, this can’t be happening. She can’t just,  _ **_leave_ ** **.** ’ Whatever regret and guilt Kashia felt last night paled in comparison to this. She’d felt fear before as she watched her mother pack up all their belongings in a rush to evade the Thalmor. She’d felt fear before when she felt her consciousness fade as she nearly bled out on the battlefield after failing block an incoming battleaxe in time. She’d felt fear before when she came face to face with a dragon for the first time, powerful jaws snapping at her while she tried and tried to land a single hit on the massive thing. But the fear of losing the dragonborn, losing her best friend? Kashia didn’t even know she could feel this afraid.

Something inside her broke. Even her face looked utterly broken as she spoke in an uncharacteristically timid voice, "But... I thought we were in this together?” Kashia took a step closer but let Velanna maintain her space. “You and me, Kashia and Velanna against the world, right?” Her voice caught as sobs crept their way into her throat. “That, that’s how it’s supposed to be?”

A shaky breath in and out. “Is it?” Velanna asked, finally looking up. Her faces got caught on something once her eyes landed on Kashia, before quickly looking back down.

Silence, but this time more terrifying. Last night the silence was of the unknown, now it’s of the ‘there’s nothing else to say and nothing more you can do’. Reluctant acceptance rather than fear.

“Kash?” Kashia slowly looked up, ready to be told to go back to Whiterun and to never speak to Velanna again. “This… this isn’t the end. I’m not… not leaving you. I just, need some time alone. I’ll be back in the inn tonight.” And then she left, walking east from Markarth with a finality in her words and determination in her step.

* * *

The consistent chatter of the Silverblood Inn kept Kashia from falling too deeply into her thoughts. Not wanting to miss Velanna whenever she decided it was time to return to The City of Stone, Kashia sat down at the bar as soon as she arrived back in Markarth. She played back Velanna’s parting words again. ‘This isn’t the end. I’m not leaving you. I just need some time alone.’ As much as she wanted to chase after Velanna to make sure she didn’t get ganged up on by some Forsworn, or attacked by Thalmor assassins, she knew that Velanna meant  _ alone _ . Besides, Velanna was smart enough not to wander into Forsworn camps, and a proficient enough mage to handle herself against a few assassins or other less-than-savory types.

Kashia felt her mind drift back into paranoia several times that day. Whispers that Velanna was going to change her mind and come back to tell Kashia to fuck off, or even worse: that she wouldn’t ever return. Either because she did die without Kashia’s protection, or that she decided Kashia wasn’t worth it. She didn’t know which one would be worse. But Velanna always kept her word, and wouldn’t have said this isn’t the end if she didn’t mean it.

But what could Velanna need time to even think  _ about _ ? Kashia had lied; she had joined several daedric cults and became their champion, grouped up with a guild of assassins and committed kills either behind Velanna’s back or even involved her in them, became a godsdamned werewolf without telling her. There was a lot that Kashia had did, and after the promise she made on the first day they met, any one of those was grounds for Kashia being fired. If this wasn’t the end, then what even was there left to say?

The answer walked in the door just after sundown.

Velanna came in the doors and sat down next to Kashia without a word. She silently ordered some Argonian Bloodwine and drank her entire glass before even acknowledging Kashia.

“I have some ground rules.”

“Huh?”

“Ground rules, for your… business. Can we talk in my room?”

Not sure where this was going but figuring it was better than being told to fuck off, Kashia nodded and they both got up to go speak somewhere more private.

Velanna once again sat on the bed while Kashia sat backwards in the stone chair. A sharp breath in. “I want you to be fully honest with me from here on out. I want you to tell me exactly who you’re going to be… killing, and why. If it’s something that’s time-sensitive, I will do my best to make room for it in our schedule, or you have permission to leave temporarily to go do your… thing.

“If you’re worried about me being horrified or disgusted with you, don’t. I’ve done plenty of bad things in my life since I arrived in Skyrim, and us killing some bandits for a bounty really isn’t that different than you going out and killing someone for a contract. I’d rather you tell me the truth and maybe make me a little uncomfortable rather than have my mind go all over the place imagining all the messed up stuff you could be doing behind my back. And for your Harbinger business, it’s fine. I said you were allowed to be your own person and it would be really hypocritical of me to say you can’t do that while I’m running the Thieves Guild. Same with all this… daedric business. You’re champion of some, I’m champion of some. Heck, Gael is one’s son!”

Sigh. “What I’m saying is that, it’s okay. We can move past this and… and still be in this together. You and me, against the world. Right?” A hopeful smile directed at Kashia, who was still trying to put all this together.

“Wait,” Kashia said. “So that’s it? Everything’s… okay now?”

“As okay as it’s going to be.” Velanna shifted on the stone bed. “I don’t have to love that you’re in the Dark Brotherhood, or that you kept it from me, but you’re my best friend Kashia. You’re the one person in this world that I trust completely, and I don’t want to lose you over this. If you can just be honest with me from here on out, I’m willing try this. Are you?”

Kashia felt her heart jump. “Y-yes of course Vels!” Nearly stumbling over her chair in her haste to stand up, Kashia plowed into Velanna with crushing hug. “Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank yooooou!” she cried out, face pushed into Velanna’s bicep, as that’s as high as she can reach on the seven foot Altmer. If a few tears threatened to escape her eyes, then that’s fine, because they’re happy tears. Sniffling, Kashia said, “I promise you won’t regret this.”

Leaning back a bit, Velanna smiled fondly at her friend, laughing a bit. “Alright, alright, we should get going early tomorrow. We’re already a day late for meeting Auryen back at the museum, and I think he’ll want to see this new bow we got.”

“You got it boss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: partyatsanguines


End file.
